Holidae sliving

✔️Dungeness crab for thanks-giving

✔️41st birthday

✔️Thoughtful gift-giving

✔️Slaying + living = sliving (🖤PH)

I love the holidaes, but only because I have reclaimed them. They mean something so much different to me now as an autonomous adult than as a child. I truly enjoy the time off, slower pace, and devotion to all things cozy. I don’t travel, buy all my gifts early, and decorate instinctually, with an open heart.

🏠 👻 Mill Valley and San Francisco almost become like ghost towns and I love it. There are always chosen friends to gather with. Plaid pillows appear on the couch, complementing my white, sparkly tree and it’s timeless theme of Disco & Donuts. 🪩 🍩

I turn a year older. Sometimes this feels rough, overall I’m so damn grateful for each + every day I get on this planet. Sometimes I look in the mirror, think “I’ve never looked better, and I get more beautiful every day…” and mean it.

My Sagittarius flames glow brighter and stronger, friends start to notice it. Is playing with fire becoming too comfy a hobby for her? Is she addicted to the glow? IS SHE A SAG, OR JUST PLAIN DELULU?

But for many of my clients, this is a stressful time with strained family relations and a never-ending list of obligations (and ways we can feel let down, or like we’re letting others down).

👇 HERE ARE SOME GENTLE HOLIDAE GUIDELINES for keeping your nervous system regulated at this challenging time of year:

✔️NO ALCOHOL

“Alcohol feels like a cheat code to happiness, but it’s actually a detour with bumper to bumper traffic!”

Here’s the truth - and as a wine lover and connoisseur, I hate this - but even a small amount of alcohol, even “the good stuff” - severely affects the nervous system, causing you to bloat, redden, sleep poorly, and look busted. 🤡

And that’s just on the outside! Any of my clients with underlying conditions, I advise not to drink - at all. Even the “healthier” booze, like organic wine, tequila or hard kombucha? Hate to break it to you, but it’s all equally harmful to your brain, and “healthy booze” is clever marketing and nothing more.

Surely, cutting back is better than indulging, but I wholeheartedly invite you to join me in celebrating a completely booze-free holidae this year. We can have so much fun without drinking poison! ☠️

As someone who has tasted, studied and appreciated wine on a professional, Michelin-starred level for may years, I have felt so conflicted about this for a good long while. I have always loved expanding my palette and knowledge of vine to table, have always enjoyed the beauty of Napa and Sonoma.

And yet. Holly Whitaker’s book QUIT LIKE A WOMAN has been an incredible resource for my sober-curiousity this season. Pretty much anything framed in terms of it fighting the patriarchy, and I am in! LOL 😆🍷🚫

At the end of the day, I just want to give myself the best chance possible to make my dreams come true, and I think avoiding alcohol completely does that for me.

✔️NO CAFFEINE

“I did not think I could give up my ritual of morning coffee, but now it saves me so much time.”

Don’t get me wrong, I still think coffee smells amazing, but I don’t miss it, not even a little bit.

You can quit caffeine if like me you come to realize it is wrecking such havoc on your digestion that it is 100% worth it to let it go.

It took about 18 months…I switched from coffee —> black tea —> half-caff lattes —> not having to stop at Equator and use their app every single morning, and that has been a game-changer. (No shade, Equator! Still luv ya) But I’m also saving over $250 a month! 🫘💵

I’m no angel, I still enjoy a soda sometimes (Mexican coke, Dr. Pepper + root beer are my faves), a guilty pleasure with some caffeine, but my wake-up routine is much different and leisurely now and I love it.

✔️NO GUILT

“Doing things out of obligation is harmful to the recipient as well.”

When we do things we don’t want to do, we may think we’re being noble. After all, self-sacrifice is good! …isn’t it?

But when obligation builds resentment, it doesn’t help anyone. Funny thing, resentment, we think we can stuff it down but the more we try, the more it festers and builds, leaking out in unexpected ways. 🫠

If you resent what you’re doing for someone, they do feel it energetically (even if it doesn’t seem like it)! And no one likes to be resented. So is it really a kindness, or fear holding you back?

You CAN think differently about how you receive and give - of your time, resources, + energy. Freedom in this arena leads to fulfillment. Are you dreading seeing certain family members? Trust your instinct and just don’t do it. The fallout you incur will eventually be less than the resentment it builds.

I don’t fly to Cleveland at the holidaes (and haven’t for 20 years) because it is icy, snowy, and miserable, terribly busy and stressful. I just - opt out. I used to get a hard time for it, but now it’s just the norm and no one cares.

I am free to “celebrate” - really celebrate, here in Cali where December is gorgeous and the people I see are all the ones who truly matter in my life. I get to keep my nervous system regulated because it is essential to my job. And I have found thoughtful ways to let my family there know I care. I don’t resent them, and my love feels more free.

✔️ PERPETUALLY MORE SLEEP

“The average adult is severely sleep-deprived - and your health suffers.”

According to the CDC, one in three adults are sleep-deprived - are you one of them? There is a stigma against too much sleep = laziness, and I think we need to really examine that and hold it up to the light, 🤔 especially since sleep itself is the number-one regulator of the nervous system.

If you fall asleep on the massage table, there is a good chance you are that one in three. You might think it’s because you are so relaxed, but actually no - if you’re getting enough sleep, you will achieve a state of deep relaxation without sleep (or lightly snoring) during your treatment - allowances made for the last client of the day.

How to improve sleep? Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and resentment, get massages, and read before bedtime. I recommend Worthy by Jada Pinkett Smith and Down the Drain by Julia Fox. 📚 Both excellent!

✔️EMBRACE CHANGE

House calls will be completely phased out in 2024.

🤷‍♀️ In an effort to sustain the longevity of my business, I’m being transparent that I just don’t have the energy for them anymore, and it’s as simple as that. Everything I do to protect the business means guarding my finite energy and strength as well.

I’m super grateful for every one I have been able to give, I know they have been popular over the years, and that I have some die-hards - please text me on an individual basis so we can discuss. Anyone who has bought a package in good faith that it could be used for a house call, may still use them as such in 2024.

Being a control freak contributes too. But I’m 100% convinced the in-office experience is better for y’all. The warm heating elements, hot towels, sound bowls, lending library, and chillaxed atmosphere really all do converge to help release your stress. I give a better massage in my office because I am more relaxed in my office. If you work from home, and get a massage at home, aren’t you just thinking about work the whole time? Be honest 🤣

Wishing you profound relaxation, just like clean feet + warm flannel sheets.

Merrily,

Kari